i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
