DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
