So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
