She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize