Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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