Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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