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But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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