but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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