Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I wish there were birth control emojis
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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