Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
