Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
