JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
