so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
