he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he fucked my hip out of place.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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