Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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