so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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