So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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