Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Vodka?
Forever.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
