you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
where are my eyebrows?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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