The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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