I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize