Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
