Jerry, you need to find god
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
