I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
