I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How does it feel to date your dad?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize