wat bout pragnant strippers??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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