I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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