Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
