Pregnant stripper...not hot.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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