Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
