garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
you never un-have a 4some
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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