i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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