I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
