the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize