Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
