She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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