I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
