Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
