I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
