do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
