Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
