Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
