so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
