I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
