i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
