Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
