He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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