Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
