Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
