Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
