At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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