So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
