I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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