Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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