what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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