i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
