Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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