u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
